Sunday, 5 September 2010

Learn to speak properly

You know, there are a number of things in life that really wind me up. Subscribe to this blog and within a few weeks you'll come to think of me as someone who really shouldn't be entrusted with any sort of firearm. Seriously, I'm a five minute walk from the Big Brother House here - surely no jury in the world would convict?

That said, my biggest gripe is the death of the English language. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not one of these blokes who walks around in a tweed jacket, smoking a pipe and thinking that we should all be reading Shakespeare over a nice cup of tea and a slice of Battenburg, but I do think that the way people speak has taken a bit a downhill slide.

People have just become so lazy haven't they? In my role as a sales person, I've spent a good number of hours on the phone to some very well respected organisations, and so my teeth really do grind together when I am greeting with "Good mornin'," or asked "Who's callin'?"

No - don't start imagining a West Country accent with all the charm that goes with it. I've no problem being greeted with a hearty "Good Mornin'" from a friendly farmer, perched aloft his tractor with a pint of scrumpy, chewing on an ear of corn. That I love, but some Chav who I can just picture with her fake tan, hooped earrings and Muppet of a boyfriend just serves to annoy me.

I mean, come on! When did the G at the end of words start to become silent?

Oh we can get lazier than that though can't we? The other day I actually heard someone say OMG - not text it, they actually said it with their voice. Now let's just think this through with some logic shall we? The words Oh my god have the exact same number of syllables as OMG - so there's no time saved there. But then what if someone overheard the comment and didn't actually know what OMG stood for? It happens - we're not all down with the kids. Well then the person has to explain it, thus taking over twice as long as the original comment and therefore making the entire abbreviation process UTTERLY REDUNDANT.

There's more - lots more, but I'll keep it to three for this week's blog and perhaps save up some more for next time. Recently the weather around here was very lovely - in fact it got a little too hot on one particular day. I commented along the lines of "It's getting a bit too hot out there," and the reply I got was simply "D'ya know what I mean?" NO! I know what I mean - you haven't actually said anything at all!

But let us allow this blog to become a forum. A chance for people to exorcise their demons with the written word, as opposed to a pair of nunchucks and a misguided sense of social responsibility. Please add your comments - what mutilation to our language annoys you? Come on, let's take back our mother tongue!

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